Event 1: On a recent episode of the Soprano’s, there was a sub plot that saw the Italian Mafia family getting pissed off that Native Americans were protesting the celebration of Christopher Columbus on Columbus Day, based on the fact that Columbus abused the natives of America during the exploration and settlement of North and South America. Italians typically don’t like it when people screw with Columbus Day. Event 2: New York City mayor, Michael Bloomberg, decided to invite two of the stars (Braco and Chianese) from the Soprano’s, to walk in the Columbus Day parade this year. Event 3: Every Italian-American group in the city has got their wooden spoons out for a flogging because they are very, very Anti-Mafia. These three things together have made for a number of news stories in the Tri-State area, and this is what will cause today’s Mocking.

Note: For those of you that have not read anything about the Mafia, I just wanted to point out that a family would be relatives and a Family is a branch of the Mafia’s organized crime hierarchy. I believe it was Joe “Bananas” Bonano that first organizing his crime unit into what is called a Family, but he just could have been one of the “more recent” ones – at least I remember he was a founding member of the Commission. If you want to read about how the Mob evolved over the years, through the eyes of a Don that outlived all of the other Dons, read Honor Thy Father which will tell you about the Bonano Family (and family.)

Which came first? The show’s or the real life incident? This time around, I couldn’t tell you it’s life imitating art or art imitating life, but what I can say is that I feel obligated to publicly mock some people out there. What’s going on, this time? A few events that seemingly have been swept up into one big public relations snafu. Event 1: On a recent episode of the Soprano’s, there was a sub plot that saw the Italian Mafia family getting pissed off that Native Americans were protesting the celebration of Christopher Columbus on Columbus Day, based on the fact that Columbus abused the natives of America during the exploration and settlement of North and South America. Italians typically don’t like it when people screw with Columbus Day. Event 2: New York City mayor, Michael Bloomberg, decided to invite two of the stars (Braco and Chianese) from the Soprano’s, to walk in the Columbus Day parade this year. Event 3: Every Italian-American group in the city has got their wooden spoons out for a flogging because they are very, very Anti-Mafia. These three things together have made for a number of news stories in the Tri-State area, and this is what will cause today’s Mocking.

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When the hell did the Italians in NYC lose their sense of humor (and reality) and confuse fact with fiction? Here’s the first problem with the whole scenario – organized crime has very little to do with the stereotype Italian these days. What I mean is that if you got a Guido-looking guy that’s strutting around with slicked back hair, gold chains, pinky ring, and a long black Caddy, odds are he’s not Mafia. Today’s Mafia, now that Gotti is long gone, is a closeted group: low profile when they are allowed to be and all about the business and money. All of the ex-Mafia members, that are talking to the press and writing their own memoirs, have said that the days of Goodfellas, Casino, and particularly the Godfather Trilogy are long since gone. Those are just the facts as the “Friends of Theirs” see them – trust me in that I’ve read enough of the non-fiction books (and fiction based on non-fiction and complete fiction inspired by non-fiction) out there on the subjects to know this. Omerta – the traditional code of silence within a Family, against the rest of the (legal and illegal) world – is long since dead; people talk not only to other Families but to the government to save their own asses. So the traditional, stereotypical Mafia “button-man” is gone.

So why the fuss? Beats me. The mayor didn’t invite Gotti Jr. or “The Chin” to the parade. He invited two Italian actors from one of the highest rated shows currently on TV and because that show centers around the Mafia Family, and a Mafia capo’s family, there’s a “fuss”. The protestors are claiming that the show glorifies the mob – obviously they’ve never seen the show. Who would honestly want to be Tony? Constant “normal” pressure from his family and “abnormal” pressure from his Family. At our jobs we deal with office and work related problems; Tony’s job has him dealing with internal power struggles, getting shot at, FBI investigations, and Rico Acts. Who could really live like that? Anyway, the invited actors have no political agenda that we know of – see if the same can be said about some of the pro-Democrat actors out there – and they were invited because of their popularity. He invited actors. The Italian groups in NYC are getting their panties in a bunch over it because of this Mafia Thing. If Bloomberg had asked two stars from the HBO show Oz, would people be upset because he was having two actors that are criminals and prisoners? Or what about two of the actors from Six Feet Under? Would that be promoting dying and death in the parade because half of the guest stars on the show play corpses? Does anyone else see how ridiculous this who thing is? I really can’t – it plays too much like a sitcom script.

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The moral of the story is that people need to learn to shut the hell up sometimes; at least they should think before yammering all over the City. Not only that but why on earth do idiots like this actually get air time on TV news? To help promote idiocity? If so, I’m going to protest something public because this group of protesters because this is slanderous! Not all Italians that are living in America are this asinine and frankly, these stubaloni are making all of us look bad.