Car Theft Should be a Capital Crime

Car thief? Second offense? Send him to the chair.

How many pacifists just freaked? All of them, I’m sure, but I’m tired of this bullshit. I’ve known three people that have gotten their cars stolen over the last six months and that’s three too many. I don’t live in a high crime area – at least I never used to – and these cars were locked and not “top of the lines” but that makes the crime worse in my eyes.

How do I justify removing a human from our planet, just for stealing property? How could you not justify it? It’s pretty simple to me: there’s right and wrong. Right is not stealing cars; wrong is stealing cars. Don’t you dare post about urban feelings or how bad people feel that they don’t have a car… just don’t. I don’t have a private jet and I don’t go steal one, now do I? Why? Because it’s wrong. Shove that “psychological” crap up yer ass because it doesn’t mean anything. Don’t make excuses for criminal behavior and let people take responsibility for their immoral actions. This isn’t something that can “accidentally” happen, like manslaughter. “Oops, I accidently tripped on the curb and landed against your locked car that I broke into and started, before I could stop it.” No, this is deliberate. And if it’s not the first offense? Fry him. Get him (or her) off my planet.

A car is more than just “transportation” to most people. In many cases, it can be irreplaceable. Take my Jeep. It’s a one of a kind. If that were destroyed tomorrow, I could never get it back. I could never place it. So am I supposed to just be mollified that a thief will spend some months in prison if it were forcibly taken from me? I work my ass off for that Jeep. I worked and sweated and slaved in my office for it in addition to the years of schooling that back my career. And it’s mine. I own it. What gives someone else the right to drive off in it?

If it’s a first time, OK, fine. They’re a kid maybe and they thought they could get away with it… had a thrill. Whatever. Maybe they think it’s a victimless crime, because of insurances. But a second time? Third time? Fuck’m. Fuck’m right in the ear. Get them off the street and out of circulation. Let their friends know that they die if they steal a car. Maybe it would dissuade other would be thieves; maybe it wouldn’t, but does that matter, really? If you start removing car thieves by making it a capital crime, wouldn’t the problem eventually sort itself out? You know it would… it’s just math.

Two cars were stolen from where I live. Two. Right from outside my house, and in one case, the car next to mine. How about the fact that I have trouble falling asleep, because I’m worried that I’ll hear my car starting and driving away? That if they are so brazen as to steal a car, what would stop them from coming into my house? I feel like I’ve been violated by these bastards – they should be punished. And since the punishment no longer fits the crime, that needs to be enhanced. If they’ve done it more than once, it’s obvious that they can’t be “cured” of their problem, so get rid of them.

And if someone tries to steal my Jeep when I’m either awake or watching, be warned that you won’t get away without some sort of confrontation… those swords on my wall might be for show but they are point and the short ones are sharp and fly well… especially from a 3rd story window through a soft top.

Or better yet, maybe I need to exercise my government given right to own a shot gun… I have no kids, so I don’t have to worry about that problem. I could just leave it locked on the main floor so it’s easily gotten.

Of course, knowing me, my rabbit would some how shoot me with it, while trying to take over the world…

17 thoughts on “Car Theft Should be a Capital Crime”

  1. An interesting bit of trivia, having lived in that area for many years…

    Several years ago we were told by a cop that the vast majority of car theft in your vacinity was for the purpose of drug trafficing. They steal a non-discript car, run it to NYC, then dump it. Secondary theives then pick the cars up and do whatever (strip them, etc.).

    So then, it seems that your proposed solution could do much to cure a whole host of social ills.

    I’m not a big death penalty proponent, but do kinda buy into punishment like the French Foreign Legion did: break their sword, and send them off into the desert with no water – it then was God’s choice if they lived or died (the deck was a bit stacked, but that’s OK).

    I’m sure you could come up with something colorful to do with the criminals in this vein. If it is a Dante-esque punishment that fits the crime, all the better.

  2. Same situation, but now they’re finding the cars in Bridgeport rather than NYC – I highly doubt that dealers would be nice enough to drive the cars back home, so I’m betting that it’s both drug business and joy riding. Even dealers are smart enough to know that if they go tooling down a highway, bouncing off the barriers, that they WILL be pulled over and I would think that they’d not want that…

    I still want pain enough for these bastards to be taken out of circulation, though. First time they can get a bit of a yelling at, but to do it again. and again. and again. AND enhance their skills to getting into the car in under 6 seconds? Fuck that. Fry the bastards, since the only way some people will stop stealing cars is to be removed from the scene. Maybe the Foreign Legion idea would work too, only drop them naked in the Hudson River and if they come out alive, so be it. :)

  3. The dealers did generally make round trips, so the cars typically ended up back in Bridgeport, New Haven, or Norwalk – all home to “junk yards” of dubious reputation.

    A funny thing I found out was that Hattertown Rd in Monroe was a major drug trafficing route. A nice backroad for making the run between Bpt and Danbury.

    The Hudson river drop might work. I’d personally prefer stacking the deck a little more… maybe someplace with more sharks or speedboat traffic.

    Talk about a reality TV idea! Kind of a cross between Fear Factor, RollerBall, and Running Man. It might have the same effect on crime that public executions used to. Getting sponsors could help alleviate taxes, too. (Imagine if Shick got involved during the French Revolution? What a marketing idea!)

  4. Well it’s nice of them to return the vehicle on a round trip, sorta. Bastards.

    Would make a good reality show though… but I do think that survival of the waters (and toxins) of the Hudson would eliminate most chances of survival :)





  6. WOW…I was really angry when I wrote that! It was within one day of my car being stolen, but a few days later I got a call and it had been towed, so I got it back. I don’t feel that angry now that I have my car back, but I will say to anyone else that is a victim of this to buy a club security bar for their steering wheel, I think it might have prevented the whole thing. I think it’s really sad that we live in this kind of society that people can just turn someone’s life upside down and put them in hell and could care less. I also think it’s sad that there are people out there who told me “that’s just the way it is”…We as a community need to change the way it is, lobby Congress, etc. The “way it is” seems unacceptable and I know I’m not the only person who is disappointed.

  7. Well its 100am and I just woke up crying because my friend is on his way to prison for a year and a half. He is a good person that got mixed up with the wrong people. i love him to death and the thought of someone like him dieing because of a few mistakes is stupid. You saying that they should die for making a few mistakes is just like saying if you get a few parking ticket you are not allowed to park anywhere but your driveway, or if you get moving violations-REVOKE of license FOREVER.


    please email if you have a problem

  8. I have no problem with your opinion.

    I stand by my comments, though.

    I don’t buy the “wrong people” explanation. Each person is their own person and responsible for themselves: if they can’t break away from the crowd they run with, it’s still their responsibility to take responsibility for their actions. Unless it was an S&M crew and you were tied up, but that would be a rare case.

    And this isn’t a *mistake*. The mistake is that he got caught – it’s no mistake that he tried to steal property that wasn’t his… did he trip on the curb, fall in a car, and accidentally hotwire it? Doubtful. It’s not a mistake – it was a calculated (or poorly calculated) risk that he took and he decided to chance it. That’s not a mistake.

    Consider this: he steals the car. The family that owns the car has light insurance, so they can’t get 100% cash back from the theft – now they’re out a car. Even if they have cash covered, fine: they won’t get a replacement for a long while. The father and/or mother can’t get to work while they wait for a replacement – they get fired. Their family gets shoved down a few rungs on the pecking order – maybe it’s just a tough time? Maybe it destroys the marriage from financial stress? Maybe, since they lost their benefits with the job, one of the kids gets sick and has complications? Or maybe he has to be rushed to the hospital at some point, but oh yeah, they have no car, so they can’t do that. Hell, what if the owner of the car was pregnant and went into labor? Why is it that no one things of these things? Lest we forget: this is an item that costs tens of thousands of dollars – know how many hours of minimum wage that is? And it’s snatched away against your will, usually while you’re blissfully sleeping?

    Meanwhile, what’s your friend doing with the car? Chop shop? Joy Ride? Scrape the VIN and resell?


    Choices have consequences… and sometimes those consequences are even further reaching than they seem. Americans seem to forget that these days. I blame MTV for that – short attention span.

    And if the moving violation is DUI, yes, you should lose the license for 2-4 years… maybe forever, although it probably won’t stop the driver from driver anyway. There’s no excuse for that in today’s day and age of awareness. And parking tickets, if it’s in a handicap space, yes, you should be tethered to your driveway for 90 days. That’s actually a good idea – I like it.

  9. Unless the courts are far more strict up North than they are in south Texas; Jennifer’s buddy didn’t get a year and a half for his first offense.

    Not to mention innocent people die from crimes committed while theives drive stolen cars. Convenience store robberies; usually stolen getaway cars. High speed chases; often a stolen car. Not only is auto theft a “victimless crime” it is also “The Gateway Crime”. Young punks break in their teeth by committing an auto theft and then they work there way up from there. It can and does often lead to more serious crimes.

  10. I had the biggest shock of my life yesterday. Firstly i was sick and then recieve a call to my mother, from my brother saying he had woken up looked in our street and the car was gone! BMW for a nineteen year old… You might think, spoilt brat but, this car was everything to him. He would wash it every week and would certainly not forget to lock it. This is what really pisses me off, someone who values someting so much and then some fucker comes and steals it. At the moment of hearing it was gone, i couldn’t believe it, things like this never happen to us. I can’t stop thinking about how someone who wants something thinks they can just go and take it from someone else. I don’t trust anybody now and guess what, im only thirteen years old. Do you think this makes me feel better? I’m of young age and now i feel as though i hate people i haven’t even met before just in case they might’ve been the ones who have just stolen my brothers car… It makes me feel so unsafe, i mean i get shaky just walking up my street in the morning which is where the car was taken from. I started crying in the night because i feel as though there are people watching me and waiting for me outside my house. It seems stupid admitting all of this but it just makes me feel like crap. It wasn’t my car, it was my brothers and i feel so bad for him, it feels like something was taken from me. He used to drive everywhere and now some screwed up loser has our car locked in their dirty garage or has just gotten it taken apart and torched because the parts were worth a lot of money. The worst part of this, i think for everybody is to know these kind of people are out there lurking, i mean the person who stole the car was less than 100 metres from my bed i was sleeping in it during the night! Whenever i go outside i always check out the window to make sure no-one odd looking is there even though even the most innocent person could have done the dirtiest crime. We’re not materialistic people, but having something like this car stolen just makes everyone pissed off, and at the end of the day the damn insurrance company aren’t giving us anything sympathy paying us about a millioneth of what the car was worth. This car has never broken down, never had a default, and has always run smoothly and now someone has it in their possesion. Just writing that makes me feel so angry i could kill somebody and if i ever found out who took the car i really would kill them because paying the price of jail is worth it just to get back at this moron. I can imagine torturing this lunatic, it would give me so much satifaction to know they aren’t walking the earth anymore.

  11. Hold up there: “BMW for a nineteen year old” – that don’t matter, spoiled brat or no: he owned it, plain and simple. The jerk offs that stole it probably had the mindset of “oh, they’re rich!” never thinking that it could have been the single most important accomplished goal to someone. You don’t need to qualify it here, not on my blog.

    I just hope they catch the fuckers.

  12. You would never believe it, they found my brothers BMW. It’s in perfect condition, and the only thing they found were traces of drugs. I’m really glad it turned up because the insurance payup was gonna be crap and now we have the car safe in our posession again. Police called from an area that is known for crime and about an hours drive away, but i wasn’t surpised about this because there are people there who do this kind of thing all the time. I still feel a bit freaked to even go outside of my house by myself but i feel better to know our car’s been returned:)

  13. Dude. My car just got broken in to (into?) — therefore, I would say I’m at the height of “pissed off”. iPod and stereo stolen, window broken, etc. Obviously I was pissed, but taking a human life for theft of physical objects is just absurd. I’d never wish that on the guy. I mean, if I saw him crossing the street I might throw it in neutral…!

  14. And what if they took the car? What if you lost your job b/c you couldn’t get to work if the car was destroyed? What if you had an emergency and you HAD to drive somewhere only to find out you couldn’t? What about the feeling of security that they’ve taken from you?

    It’s not about the loss of physical objects – it’s about the impact the theft of those objects have on your life (and that the cause is well beyond your control – worse, in the controls of a person or people that don’t give a rat’s ass about you and your life).

  15. I have to agree I say we kill them the car thief that is. they are costing us too much money and they are dangerous I am going to see if I can get enought people together and go to washington to try to change some laws anyone interested. there are people out there forming groups and buy guns and targeting these guys to kill them is anyone aware of that its time to stand up and protect what is yours its our right dont let some ass hole take that right away from you.

  16. Once caught some punk breaking into an old car of mine so I beat the shit out of him. Bloodied him up so bad he went to the hospital. Cops arrested me but I have no regrets whatsoever. The satisfaction of knocking that son of a bitches teeth out was worth every charge that was placed on me. And I’d do it again. We should have the right to shoot car thieves or those who break into our cars on the first offense. Then call the police and have someone pick up the body. Guarantee car theft would be on the instant decline.

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