The other day Anna was over, puttering around in my kitchen, while I was dropping a disc in my DVD player in the living room. Just as the tray retracts into the player, the only thing I hear from the kitchen is, “What. Is. This?”
“What is what,” I think. I don’t subscribe to Playboy anymore, so there shouldn’t be a black bag in my mail. I don’t think I ordered anything unusual recently… God knows, though. I mean, you get drunk enough and the dumbest thing online is suddenly funny and often powered by a USB port. Even the stuffed Pee and Poo made me giggle when I first saw them – just not enough to order them. Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time I got a mystery package in the mail that I had opened with a “what the hell was I thinking last week?” thought. Either way, I’m nearly 100% positive that there’s no porn in the kitchen for feck’s sake. Not a chance. Maybe. No, no, really. There wouldn’t be. Or at least shouldn’t be.
“Er… what’s what?” I replied, cautiously.
“This… thing,” she says while still out of sight, in the kitchen.
I walked away from the DVD player and looked around the corner to see what she was talking about. Anna is standing there with a look of utter disgust on her face, holding a small catalog by the corner, as if it had been marinated in urine. A closer look tells me that it was the “End Your Lease Early!” thing that GM sent me earlier this week: they sent over a photo shoot of all of the GM cars, trucks and SUV’s, as well as a blurb telling me that they’d give me $2K to cover the remaining lease payments I have for my Jetta.
“Oh… that. Well…” I said.
“What were you thinking?” she asked me.
A quick conversation spelled out that it wasn’t a solicited catalog; the only GM I would consider at this point would be Saab, and frankly I’ve lost touch with them since the GM buy out. The fact that I haven’t been thrilled with my current Jetta during this lease – I still say it’s because the Jetta wasn’t assembled in Germany like my Passat was – makes me shy a bit from VW. The added fact that both the Jetta and the Passat are now out of “car-paying comfort zone” irks me a good deal. BWM 3, Audi A4, Acura TL, Volvo [any] are way too pricy for me. Jetta, Passat, GTI, Cooper-S, Accord, and Maxima are overpriced for what ya get – a couple thousand more and you’re in the higher price range, so why skimp at that level. Acura RSX is a good price but a 3-door again? Civic Si looks nice but when I took a closer look, I felt like I could bend pieces of with my own hands… from GM? Honestly, only a Saab would interest me and… well. Who knows what Delco has done to the thing recently.
Why does it sound like getting “caught” with a GM brochure is worse than getting caught with porn!