Personally, I think could overload this server with the pitfalls and perils of dating. A chunk of my book tells a small part of the pain that I’ve had to endure over the years… the planned second edition of it would include a hell of a lot more – like the “adult” relationships – assuming I ever got time to write it.
Let me tell you want a resent night entailed – an all too typical a night…
I know a lot of people that go on and on about how married life sucks… while I agree, it’s better to be alone than be in a terrible relationship, the coupled people don’t seem to “get” what it’s like to date in the here and now. As in, your middle thirties. I always figured that if I was single after college, that I’d be single for a long time. I mean, in college you get to have six hour conversation until dawn with women camped in your room (or vice versa) and it’s really easy to meet new people and get to know them very well and quickly. After college, you’re relying on nothing but personal ads and random bar meetings. You can’t date anyone at work anymore without taking home a lawsuit for your efforts. If your the friends of your friends are married, you quickly realize how rare a single people can be. Assuming that you don’t want to date some one that comes with a 25 piece matching set of baggage from [insert any random reason here].
It’s not even that I’m “picky” – it’s just that there’s a much smaller pool to draw from on this side of 30.
Onto the case study.
I’ve been going to the same bar for a while now. I first started going to this bar because it was close to where I was living at the time… how can you turn down a place that you could walk to in under five minutes? After a number of visit every week or two, I got to know some of the regulars, as well as the bartenders and bartendresses. Once they banned smoking in all public places in WA, the place became a weekly staple.
While I don’t walk to the place any more – it’s just a little too far to walk during the winter and I don’t get that marinated anymore – I still hang out there, now for dinner and a beer. Good burgers, honestly… cheap beer. Good company too – some of the bartenders have gone and come back – and the regulars are still around. Like most local bars, very few people leave – most just fade in and out over time.
So the other night, I was sitting there watching the Sonics (I miss baseball) and eating a burger. Across the room I notice this cute woman talking to some other women by the pool table. Me, being me – which isn’t always easy, but at least it’s entertaining – I noticed her, but I also noticed every single other person in the bar… it’s what I do. I watched the game and the bar and continued to randomly flip off one of the bartendresses, and shoved the burger in my face.
When I ran outta burger and beer, I went up to get another one beer – line was about three deep. A total logjam for a small bar! So while I’m waiting in line, some one behind me says, “I fuckin’ hate the fuckin’ NBA.” I turn around to find the cute chick behind me. I reply with, “Uwaaah? Hey me too!” which sparks an NBA-related tirade from the woman. And it’s well met – I’m not a fan of the NBA but since there’s no local hockey and baseball isn’t on yet, I have limited options! – so we chatted for a little bit.
After a few minutes I’m finally through the line and at the bar, so I let the woman go first. She asks the bartender if she can turn off the sound from the game and play music. Bartender says “Oh, if you select music from the jukebox, it’ll cut the sound from the TV’s.” I ask the woman if she played all of the rock music I heard earlier – I was pretty sure it was her, and it was – so I gave her five bucks for music… I suck at picking music off a jukebox… same thing with iTunes or the Zune Store: I always end up at the same artist or same type of music – I never branch out on my own. It’s why I like Sirius radio, actually, because it forces me to discover new artists.
Anyway the woman is all “WHOO!” thanks me and runs over to the jukebox. I get another beer and sit down where I was sitting, which was very near the jukebox, and watch the game some more. Woman plays some songs and then grabs me so I can help. Literally grabbed my arm and dragged me off a stool and then leans on my back while we’re lookin at the screen. Lo! We have similar tastes in music. Chat chat chat, play play play, oops, no more credits left. Chick says “zOMG! You gotta come over to our group and talk to us!” I say “OK, sure”, grab my beer and go over to near the pool tables where she was talking to the other women earlier.
What would you think at this point? Happy times? Hookup for the night? Digits with a follow up call in three days (even if five days would be money)?
You obviously don’t know me. And you’ve certainly haven’t dated in the last five years.
Not only did I get to meet her
fiancée live-in boyfriend – honestly, I dunno what the hell he was but at least he took to his girlfriend bringing random men over to their table in stride, which I personally attribute to a lack of beer and Northwest manners – but I got to watch them argue about whether or not they should leave to meet up with the people they were supposed to be meeting. And after they left to meet up with the other people, I inherited the slurring friend that tried to tell me that the first chick had a drinking problem.
Right. Fun. Whoo! Dating sucks.
I was back in my house in front of a warm and glowing 360 by 8:30.