I need the net-based citizens of interwebs to weigh in on an issue for me… it’s one part sociological and one part I-Don’t-Understand. The situation is this:
A couple have been together for over a year. Both people in the relationship are between 27 and 29. They aren’t having sex because one of the people in the relationship is afraid to take that next step for different reasons. One is an unplanned pregnancy. Another is that it would be the first time. Lastly, the worried partner is concerned because a younger sibling [also in their 20’s] have not had sex yet and they don’t want to set a bad example.
I have an opinion on this that I won’t share yet because I don’t want to taint the survey, but I’m asking you all: do you consider this normal/weird, healthy/unhealthy?
Comments are open – post away.
I think the person is honorable and is probably making sure he/she is with the right person before they engage in such activities. I admire those qualities.
weird and unhealthy. This is 2007, the bible has been debunked countlessly, theres no reason to have such antiquated morals.
WAY unhealthy. WAY WAY unhealthy!
The next step may be scary for some but it should be your choice your sibling in there 20’s can make there own choice. With that said I do not understand, it is weird to me, but may not to others. As for healthy, I think it is because it is there choice and they are respecting each other which is a cornerstone of any relationship. I also admire the fact that the one that is ready is staying because in today’s society many would run.
Heh.
Unhealthy. These “reasons” are excuses that are hiding something else.
1) The sibling is an adult and can handle the whole issue of sex on their own. Don’t wanna be a bad example? Hello, does this sib watch tv?? Does this sib have friends? Does this sib walk out of thier front door?
2)First time, and they’re past 25? Really. Professional help my be in order. That’s not right. No offense.
3)Unplanned pregnancy..this is the ONLY semi-valid reason I can think of for wanting to hold off on sex these days… but at the same time there are so many choices out there to ensure prevention. However, this couple is approaching an age (and yeah I know people have kids past 30) where this might not be a real issue for much longer. There’s always sterilization, then adoption if one so chooses.
The end. It’s unhealthy.
PS: Who waits for the right person anymore anyway? Pffbbt. Sex IS better with someone you care about, but if no one can stand you then hell. Sex is sex!
*ahem*
Dan Quayle would be very proud … he would probably say that abstinence education is working. It’s also encouraging to those 40 year old virgins out there too (not that I’m saying I’m one of them!) :-)
I think that’s effin bizarre.
Intimacy is a HUGE part of a relationship. I don’t think you can honestly have a healthy one without it.
Also…I’m 33, my siblings are all 6-12 years older than me and have kids. As far as I’m concerned none of them have ever had sex, and as far as they know, neither have I. My point is, who in the heck talks about sex with their siblings, especially when they’re supposedly not having it? Odd.
Hmm…seems like they are afraid. Why? There are ways of making the risks of pregnancy lower than the chance of getting in a car accident….I don’t call that an excuse. I think there are other things going on.
I’d say to the worried partner, if I were the other partner, “We can’t have a relationship without sex.” And then see where it goes.
Another reason might include religious beliefs. I always thought sex after marriage was the right thing.
WAKO… thats all… WAKO… at least for me. If it works for them fine… but is it really working?
Religious shcmeligious. It’s an excuse.
Is it healthy, yes? Not only do are you avoiding sexually-transmitted diseases by waiting, but also because you can build the relationship on the things that matter. Sexual intimacy is important, but not as important as the type of intimacy you get on an emotional level.
However, is it normal? Not in today’s age, unfortunately. People have no morals anymore, society doesn’t care about right and wrong. And before the naysayers shout “bible Beater!”; Morals have nothing to do with religion. Even if you are the type who doesn’t believe in the bible, or just because society’s views have changed, that doesn’t automatically make things that are morally wrong suddenly become right. There are entire societies out there in third-world countries where cannibalism is consider normal. Just because they all do it and believe there’s nothing wrong with it, does that make it right?
Personally, I’m a 31-year-old male, and I’m still waiting. Not because I can’t get it, but because I have said “no.” I have lost relationships with girls I have loved because they would not have a relationship without sex. But I have my reasons.
I want to share the intimacies of my body with only one girl, and until we are married, there is no sure guarantee she will always be the “one.” Yes, divorces do happen, but I like to have a little bit of faith in a marriage that lasts forever.
I want a girl who has absolutely no experience, and they are impossible to find even more so today than when I was a teen. It disgusts me to think my wife has had some other man in her. Not for a moral reason, but because everytime I go down on her, I’m gonna taste some other guy. No thanks. *Blech*
Also, I would like to set a good example for my kids. One day, when the topic of waiting comes along, they’re going to ask if their mom and dad waited (almost all kids ask this.) How can I expect them to wait if I didn’t? This is the exact reason one of my friends gave it up at 16. She asked her parents if they waited, they didn’t, so she figured, “Then why should I?”
I respect someone a whole lot more if they treat their body like a pure temple, rather than a run-down McDonalds, complete with “Over one billion served” tattooed above their ass. So it goes to say that the decision made by these two people in your survey are making the respectable decision.
But then again, by society’s standards, I guess I’m an unhealthy weirdo too. Heh.
“But then again, by society’s standards, I guess I’m an unhealthy weirdo too. Heh.”
-Yep, basically.
“I want a girl who has absolutely no experience, and they are impossible to find even more so today than when I was a teen. It disgusts me to think my wife has had some other man in her. Not for a moral reason, but because everytime I go down on her, I’m gonna taste some other guy. No thanks. *Blech*”
-LMFAO. Uh huh. Yer a mental case…and thats not by societies standards. That’s common sense.
Anyway, good luck with all of that Kain!
(This is the best entry Randy, total entertainment for me.)
Well, I’m glad I could entertain you, Anna. *bows* I can’t take all the credit, however, I do owe a lot of it to Kevin Smith by paraphrasing Dante in Clerks: “37? You’ve sucked 37 d*cks? I feel sick. Everytime I kiss you, I’m gonna taste 36 other guys.”
As far as being a mental case; not at all. If it were 50 years ago, someone like me would be a model image, and someone who thought the opposite would be considered a mental case. It’s all a case of society’s standards. And you can take that from someone who went to college for psychology.
But regardless, if I’ve saved myself for her, I atleast expect the same amount of respect in return by her saving herself for me. People like that do exist, they’re just difficult to find — I can’t be the only one out here. Thanks for the good luck wish, though. I realize I need it.
If the person is that old and hasn’t had sex, they’re probably FUGLY and shouldn’t breed anyways.
@ Kain: There’s a difference between the type of woman that sucks 37 d*cks in her lifetime, and a woman that’s had a couple of shots at “love” that never worked out.
I understand your point, about looking for someone with the same values as you. However, you’re really not doing yourself a favor by elimating 99.9% of your available pool out there.
You don’t want to be alone the rest of your life, do you? Because literally, that’s what you’re doing to yourself.
Either that or, you’re a closet gay…which is totally cool too.