Perception Short-Sighted Women Suck

The other night I was standing at one end of the bar. It wasn’t that busy; I was mostly chatting up the regulars, swilling a beer. I looked up and noticed a woman walking up to order something with ears that were all kinds of shiny… I’m a Geek. I notice shiny things. I noticed that these shiny things were a couple of C’s. Yes, there were a couple of C’s under her shirt, but they weren’t the only ones: the ones in her ears had one C stamped over over the other, with one of them flipped backwards: the Chanel logo.

Not the normal sort of shiny you see in a bar in the Pacific Northwest.

Now how do I know what a Chanel logo looks like? There are a number of reasons… one is that – as a guy – I’ve been known to buy gifts for the women in my life. Another reason could be that when I dated a woman from Long Island – the materialistic capital of the northeast – that I was required to learn a number of names to keep the woman happy. Maybe the fact that everywhere you look you see the C’s on visor styled sunglasses over the last two summer and I buy glasses every year or two. Could be that I have a mind for logos.

I’m betting on the latter part, the affinity for logos. All through my life, I’ve retained images in my mind, logos particularly. Stores, cars, jewelry – whatever. I know the Fortunoff’s logo because they were on the clasp of a string of pearls I bought; I know the Mikimoto logo because I couldn’t afford the brand and their ads have been in airports over the years. Stuff like that knocks around in my head – trust me, I would clear it, if I could.

So, at the bar, I noticed the woman whip out her wallet: pink with a pair of black C’s on it that were also Chanel. I would swear that I saw a few cartoon $’s appear above my head and heard the cha-ching of a cash register. Knowing what I know about the brands, and the fact that they both match, would you walk away from this kind of opportunity?

Yeah, I wouldn’t either.

As the was waiting in line, I walked by and said to her, “I gotta tell ya, it’s impressive.”

“What is?” she asked.

“That you were able to accessorize both your wallet and your earrings… that’s not all that common.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed and beamed. She put her hand on my arm and said, “Thank you! That’s kind of you to say so! Would you-”

“What’ll ya have?” interrupted the bartender. She turned to order; I walked out to the pool tables.

About 10 minutes later I wandered outside to get some air, since the place was getting hot. Sat down on the bench for minute. I noticed the chick was outside talking to three guys just a ways away, saying “…must be gay – I mean what guy knows what Chanel is?” One of the guys near her heartily agreed. They continued talking a bit before I walked over quietly and then said, “Um, I’m not gay – these guys? Of course they wouldn’t know – they’re normal! Me, I know because who I’ve dated and, well. I know the stuff that makes. A woman. Happy.” I put my hand on the woman’s arm and said, “Very Happy.” I left the now blushing woman outside and went back inside to my beer.

Maybe I shoulda humped her leg to prove a point, but still… meh. Give a woman what she wants to hear and she can’t simply believe it – must be too easy.


8 thoughts on “Perception Short-Sighted Women Suck”

  1. That is perfect, I nearly spit my water on my computer. Thanks for the laugh, boy isn’t that the truth in the NYC area bling(name) is king.

  2. That’s why it’s so weird to see it out here… makes it rather. Well. Rare. And sorry about the almost notebook accident *g*

  3. Know the logo, know what No. 5 smells like… never said I could spell *g*

    Besides, my spell checker probably picked it up for channel… wanking thing. Sorry for the lack of respect for Mademoiselle Chanel!

  4. Showing off labels like that is white trash, cheap looking, and immature, meaning that bar chick was white trash, cheap looking, and immature.

    So, I dunno why you cared if she thought you were gay or not.

  5. Um, she didn’t show them off… she wasn’t waving the bag around the counter; I happened to notice it because that’s what I do: I notice stuff… side effect of being a tester.

    Besides, you used to get pissed off when boys on XBL thought you were fat even though they never saw you. This chick saw me and if she formed the opinion that I was gay? I’m doing something wrong :(

  6. hey randy been reading your site for an hour or so, i like your rants

    you bring a different perspective to some things. And other stuff is just funny.

    In this post you asked what you did wrong ?

    idk, ppl will have misconceptions about everything.

    But if u were single at the time, buying her that

    drink woulda made your case and probably your

    evening too ;)

    On the other hand, if she’s such a brandwhore you

    just saved yourself 1000’s of wasted $ for shiny

    bobbles just trying to get on her good side.

    Not to mention your current gf would have been

    pissed if she found out and that can get even more

    costly in other ways.

    So in the larger view of things, you did the ok

    thing, didn’t flirt with her, didn’t fall in her

    trap and you did set your rep back on track,

    albeit with non-regulars at the bar.

    anyway interesting site, keep it up.

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