Thank You, Drive Thru… Psyche!

So, there I was, sitting in a McDonald’s parking lot. I had just pulled in and was about to go through the Drive Thru, when I noticed that there were already about five cars waiting in line there – screw that! I’d rather take my gelatinous ass in for a walk, however cold it is out, and go wait at the front counter. See, an empty Drive Thru is a good thing – they are forced to finish waiting on you before they can be rid of you. Your the first one in line and no one can come from behind, and take your store supplied knave away from you, until you are done with’m and drive away!

Of course, if you’re the type of prick that orders the whole lot from a menu and hold up the line for a long while, they might force you to “drive around” and wait out of line in the parking lot – they do this to keep the queue moving, should one random/special request cause problems. It can happen – Fast Food Power is a fleeting illusion, at best.

Given the above, I go slumping into the McD’s, determined to spite my doctor and his on going fascination with my cholesterol levels. For more than a year I’ve altered my diet enough to lose and keep off) 40 pounds, but obviously unless I eat more hay than my rabbit, I’m going to have all sorts of medical problems. I’m currently humoring him and taking cholesterol medication, but since that might destroy my liver (talk about a side effect) it might be a temporary think. Anyway – viva la burger! I decide I want a #3, medium sized. I think it was a #3 – what I do know is that it’s a Quarter Pounder (Le Royale for you frogs out there) with Cheese combo, with a medium fries and soda. Here’s how the conversation went, me in italics and my rented, McD-branded knave in regular text.

Gimmie a #3, medium sized, to go, please. No. Excuse me? No! You want a #9 [the Big Xtra combo]. Um, no, see, I want a #3. Yeah, but the #9 is cheaper. Yeah… and, I want a #3. No! You want a #9! No. I don’t want the mayo, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, pickle and onion [the Big Xtra is a Whopper@McDonalds, so the BK training was useful!] and I want cheese. Well, you can have it however you want. But see – *beep – beep on the register* – since the Big Xtra is $1 by itself, you saved $0.43! Look. I want a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, with pickles, ketchup, mustard, and onions, just like the Quarter Pounder should be. That’s what I want. Oh – sure! Wait… that’s… pickles *beep*, ketchup *beep*… ummmmmm…. onion *beep*. And mustard. Right! ummmm…. … … hey Oomfufu – where’s mustard on the register? Ummmm… *beep* OK. That’s $4.23!

I woulda paid the extra $0.43 to not have wasted these ten minutes of my life… Given the amount of free time I have (well, truth is that I don’t have!), there’s no fuckin’ way I’m pimping it out at $2.58/hour and ten minutes wasted in a futile effort to save me some moneys. I’m sure the knave meant well… but oi! I waste enough time in useless meetings at the office – I don’t need the off work hours wasted in this type mental masturbation.

Next time out I’m going to Taco Bell… At least there they try to argue with you – they don’t give you what you order.

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