I must get soppy this time of the year. I mean with all the holiday well wishing and the Peppermint Mocha at Starbucks – it’s a most lovely time of the year! It’s the constant well wishing that is the most touching to me, especially in the capitalistic environment of the US. It’s getting harder and harder to keep our good cheer when you have to combat the mall hordes and trudge around in occasionally snow covered parking lots. Having seen the decorations for months now, you’re almost tired of mistletoe and candles… and then the constant bombardment of ads and overtures to get your gift giving dollar… never mind that the Sunday paper in December jumps up in weight by about five pounds, due to the increase circulars… no, it’s getting very hard to keep in mind the whole point of the holidays and the good will towards your fellow humans.

Having said that, you can imagine the joy and warmth I’ve been feeling as I’ve been reading my e-mail these last view months! I’ve been getting unexpected care and support from all over the world, and it’s so wonderful! It’s simply incredible – the amount of strangers that are so very concerned about the size of my breasts and the length and staying power of my penis! So much care and happiness from total strangers! And of course, there’s the special people that are so filled with love that they offer to share their loving experiences from their own family-run farm with me… it’s heart warming to know that people can be so close with their livestock, since they are only raised for food – Greenpeace should be thrilled! Let’s also not forget the unlucky 18 year olds that celebrate their birthdays in December… it must be hard having a birthday get overshadowed by the holidays, but even their concerns have been addressed. I keep hearing about all these parties that are going on to celebrate their first birthday as a legal citizens, with web cams and all types of fun guests stopping in! I was also relived to know that I could order the hottest seasonal gift this year, directly online. That cute little mini-RC car has always looked so tempting at the eight mall kiosks that I’ve seen them demonstration at, and even though I was asked to purchase one each time I walked by, I’m glad I could get them online and not have to be paralyzed with worry.

So this [insert your holiday day(s) here] enjoy the company that you’re with – be safe and well. And in case you find yourself hungry or bored, rest assured that you’ll have a large serving of Spam waiting for you, when you get back online.

Happy Holidays from RandyRants.com!